The Dalai Lama suggests that achieving a social revolution begins with transforming our own minds. This is a topic of how to create a better world is close to my heart.

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You may not be focused on sparking a social revolution right now, but perhaps you’d welcome a personal revolution—one that shifts you away from reactive, nagging behavior and overwhelm, and toward a state of clarity, peace and calm. Because let's face it, even with the best intentions and promises to ourselves that we will never again act or say things out of anger, frustration or hurt, before we know it, we have done it again.

I’ve recently embraced a wonderful new habit of walking in the bush for an hour most mornings. I love the soothing sound of the stream as it winds around the rocks and the way sunlight dances through the trees.

While I usually prefer staying fully attuned to my surroundings, this morning, I decided to listen to a podcast during my walk. It was a conversation between Tami Simon and Margaret (Meg) Wheatley on the topic 'Beyond Hope and Fear.' Their discussion offered a few insightful gems …

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How often do we, for example, focus on what is wrong with our body or our thinking, rather than directing our attention to what is possible?

Imagine being so attuned to your heart's desire and so clear about where you want to put your energy, that the idea of focusing on any obstacles in your path, or on what is unwanted, seems utterly non-sensical. 

Lately I have been contemplating the way we create stories in our mind about ourselves, about others and about the world around us; and how we have a tendency to hold on to those stories because on some level, they make us feel safe and in control.

However, the stories we tell ourselves over and over again can also hold us prisoner as they can limit our experience of life and influence how we relate to the world around us.

We are in the habit of thinking in binary terms. I am either selfish or caring. But what about learning to recognise the moments when it might be vitally important for you to step up and speak up for your own needs in the interest of growth and wholeness – even if that hurts someone else?

pause ... trust ... let go ... and be open to the unknowable

When we pay attention to something, we narrow our focus and easily forget about the context of the experience. At the same time our attention can be fleeting, jumping from here to there and everywhere. 

What makes staying focused on a consciously chosen task difficult is that the untrained mind is attention-driven and tends to react to the strongest stimuli present at the time. This could be stimuli from outside of ourselves, e.g. the ding on your phone signaling a new social media post, a favourite song, the smell of baking that makes you want to go and get a muffin or something arising from within, such as emotionally loaded thoughts or memories.

“Every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become.”

James Clear

We live inside our stories. Experiences that occurred repeatedly over the years formed themselves into solid stories about life, what is possible and what can be expected.

Recalling your actions over the last few days, reflect on what they say about you and the stories you have created about yourself.

Maybe stories like, “I am someone who …

• sets unreasonable goals they never follow through.

• intends to be kind and patient but can’t stop feeling irritated by others.

• is so good at procrastinating that it’s easier to not even try to dream of something new.

• add your own stories here …

Or does your story go something like this? I am someone who …

What stories are you telling yourself? What stories are you choosing to live in?

Or are you not choosing at all?

Mindset is a huge topic in the life-coaching world as it shapes how we feel, think and act. The quality of our mindset impacts our sense of identity and belonging and what we believe is possible.

In my role as holistic results coach I frequently suggest to clients to imagine that they are holding a magic wand that allows them to create the future their heart desires. I then invite them to describe in detail what this future looks like, i.e. what they see, hear, and feel. What’s astounding is how quickly people revert to talking about all the reasons why this desired future is not possible. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I have recently become a grandmother. The next generation has been born and I have been bumped up the generational line from parent to grandparent. Since I don’t buy into the conventional story of what it means to grow older, I did not expect to experience such a visceral shift within me.

Growing older in years has always had a positive association for me and I usually liken it to the image of a ‘flower unfolding its beauty and fragrance one petal at a time’, rather than to an arc with its peak followed by a gradual decline.

To me, transitions such as from mother to grandmother are life's way of asking us to examine our present way of being and either gently nudge or force us to develop and grow as individuals.

I wondered how the effort and focus I put into achieving my goals and dreams compared to the spontaneous inner knowing and guidance that I had come to experience many times in the past.

I decided to reconnect more deeply with this inner guidance and wisdom (the yogis call this aspect of mind Vijnanamaya kosha). It is what I have lived by most of my life; that sense that I am guided by a deep knowing; that there is a bigger picture that my rational mind can’t grasp; that I am part of a greater whole; that there is a purpose to the madness and that the answers are within or around me if I care to listen. I knew I had lost this awareness somewhat during my academic studies a few years back and again lately by working in such a focused and goal-oriented manner.

Do you know why you procrastinate? Is it because you are inherently lazy, lacking self-discipline or just don’t have enough will power?

Even though we often don’t know why it is so hard to start certain tasks we all know how frustrating and how time and energy consuming procrastination can be.

Discover 3 proven path to overcoming procrastination.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

I love the word thrive. It literally creates a zing in my body, as if all my cells are shouting YES.

I want to live in a world where everyone thrives in their own quiet or loud way. I see thriving as a process from the inside out. We thrive when we connect to our inner wellspring to a point where it overflows and naturally shares itself with others. Like a fountain that draws its water from a deep and pure source.

The word thrive might not resonate with you. I suggest that you find a word that points to something within you that makes all your cells listen up, so you will take heart and live a full and courageous life that brings you joy and satisfaction.

Since working as a life/results coach, I have been surprised about the confusion and misconception among clients when it comes to goal setting.

People tell me that they don’t have a proper goal. They don’t recognize their wish to “feel more at peace within themselves” or to “love themselves fully” as a suitable goal to be coached on.

The truth is, your goal can be anything: finding inner peace, changing old habits, exploring a new career path, or discovering what it is you are really meant to be doing.

I recently read a statement, challenging us to think of birth as “the world’s best kept secret to unlocking the power and wisdom of women”. How different would it be if we celebrated each pregnant woman as the powerful creative force she is and if we celebrated birth as an initiation and a time of great power?

Instead, many of us view birth as somewhat outside of “normal” life, something we do to have the baby we desire or, I am sad to say, as something that happens to us and that we can’t avoid.

Self-Care has become a buzz word with the growth of the wellbeing industry. If you are an Instagram user you might instantly think of #self-care with its display of images of gorgeous looking salads, scented candles, face-masks, or luxury items designed to make you feel valued and spend money. Please don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with scented candles or healthy salads but this is an extremely limited and often not very useful way of viewing self-care.

I have named my new venture Kind Living as it hints at the world and community that I want to live in. I want to live among people who are generous at heart, aware, open, and loving, not because they think or believe that this is how they should behave, but because it is a natural expression of who they are.

When I connect with the feeling-tone of belonging, I want to take a deep slow breath in, inviting life into myself … and I see … ripples emanating from my heart in ever expanding circles.

To me, belonging feels equally like an offering and a gift, that grows from tenderness and contentment within my own being. Belonging has its roots in kindness, first to self and then to others. Belonging is spinning a web, whose source originates within my being and whose threads are spun from radical acceptance.

In the West we have learned to revere the mind and its analytical and logical processing power. This attitude is ingrained in our education system and places of work. It has become so much part of the fabric of our being, that it is difficult to see it for what it is – unless we become intimately connected with a culture that has a different value system, like multiple indigenous cultures around the world.

Self-Leadership aims to awaken the inner processes that allow us to perceive the world, not as black-and-white or linear, but as complex, layered and intrinsically connected.