Loving Yourself into Wholeness
"Every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become."
James Clear author of Atomic Habits
We live inside our stories. Experiences that occurred repeatedly over the years formed themselves into solid stories about life, what is possible and what can be expected.
Recalling your actions over the last few days, reflect on what they say about you and the stories you have created about yourself.
Maybe stories like, “I am someone who …
sets unreasonable goals they never follow through.
intends to be kind and patient but can’t stop feeling irritated by others.
is so good at procrastinating that it’s easier to not even try to dream of something new.
add your own stories here …
Or does your story go something like this? I am someone who …
easily follows through on the goals I set myself.
knows when to say no to unreasonable requests.
manages their time well.
add your own new story here …
Birthing a new story about yourself that reflects the kind of person you wish to be, while working on new habits, stops you from entering into battle with yourself. When we bring our emotional self along on the journey, which is what we are doing by tapping into a new story of ourselves that aligns with our values, we don’t have to rely on our willpower alone to create the changes we want to see. It is like entering the flow of a new river rather than battling the currents of lifelong habits.
As James Clear states above "Every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become." When struggling to make a decision or swing into action ask yourself: “How would the new me deal with this?”
Remember however, life is not about being perfect. There is no life by design. Life throws us curveballs, we get our hearts broken, we fall into depression, get burned out, and often forget completely about our values and the goals we have set ourselves.
That’s why it is equally important to learn to embrace all aspects of who we are. In fact, it is the true pre-requisite to change. Rather than beating ourselves up for all our shortcomings we can learn to, in Tara Brach’s words, “love ourselves into wholeness."
For more on this listen to the short (2 minute) video below, “Radical Acceptance is a Prerequisite for Change” by renowned spiritual teacher Tara Brach.
Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “It wasn’t until I accepted myself just as I was, that I was free to change.” The fear of Radical Acceptance is that if we accept ourselves just as we are, we’ll never improve or get better. But it is that deep, unconditional tenderness toward our own beings that actually creates the pathway to the freedom we seek.
To watch the full talk, go to: https://www.tarabrach.com/radical-acceptance-revisited/?cn-reloaded=1