The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Lately I have been contemplating the way we create stories in our mind about ourselves, about others and about the world around us; and how we have a tendency to hold on to those stories because on some level, they make us feel safe and in control.
However, the stories we tell ourselves over and over again can also hold us prisoner as they can limit our experience of life and influence how we relate to the world around us.
My question, inspired by Irish poet and philosopher David Whyte:
What if we dropped the familiar stories? What if we stopped the conversation we are used to having with ourselves?
Why would we want to do this?
Because by interrupting our familiar way of looking at and thinking about things we challenge our habit of seeking security in the familiar. Instead we learn to cultivate a friendship with what we do not know.
We have been educated to believe that knowing is important and to sit with the not knowing can at first feel strange and uncomfortable. However, by doing so we open the door to a deeper relationship with ourselves and with the world around us that ultimately offers a greater sense of power and safety than any story can give us.
And no, it is not that simple to drop one's stories, especially as some are passed on through generations and not so much as words but as lived experiences. They are lodged in our cells and nervous system and are not always accessible to the conscious mind.
We can, however, start with increasing our awareness and reflecting on the stories that are accessible to us (see the "Question for you" section below).
Having identified one such story we can then go deeper by asking the four questions that stem from Byron Katie's work.
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know it's true?
How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
And please remember to stay curious in the process. This is not about making yourself wrong but deepening your relationship with yourself for greater overall wellbeing.
Kindly
Uschi
Questions for you
What stories are you telling yourself about yourself, your past, your relationships, your health?
Who are you becoming through these stories? Are you becoming the world you want to live in?