What Are You Paying Attention To?
The Power—and Habit—of Attention
Each day, countless things ask for your attention—some gentle, some demanding. Without realising it, your focus is constantly being pulled, shaped, and scattered.
You might be wondering why it feels so hard to stay centred, to keep your energy on what truly matters. The truth is, most of us aren’t choosing where our attention goes—our attention is choosing for us.
Let’s pause for a moment and explore how we might begin to shift that.
Permit me to say without reservation that if all people were attentive, if they would undertake to be attentive every moment of their lives, they would discover the world anew. They would suddenly see that the world is entirely different from what they had believed it to be.
Jacques Lusseyran
Be attentive to your attention
So much of our attention is driven by unconscious habit rather than conscious choice. This is because the untrained mind tends to follow the strongest stimulus—whether it’s the ding of a message, the scent of fresh baking, or a thought that stirs emotion. Often, the most powerful triggers are negative. That’s not a personal failing; it’s human. Our brains evolved to scan for danger. But in modern life, that same wiring can keep us caught in cycles of worry, comparison, or irritation.
Energy flows where attention goes
When we’re unaware of where our energy is flowing, we may end up investing time and attention into things that don’t nourish us—and even take us further away from the life we long to live.
You may have experienced this: those moments when it feels impossible to stop replaying a past hurt or clinging to a story of disappointment. Sometimes, it’s strangely comforting to hold on to that righteous frustration, even if it doesn’t help us move forward.
In these moments, what we need isn’t more willpower or self-discipline—but a clear inner vision. A reminder of what matters most. And the spaciousness within to shift focus toward beauty, clarity, and purpose.
Start With What Matters
Try this:
Take a little time to reflect on your core values.
What really matters to you right now?
Maybe it's…
Authenticity
Family
Simplicity
Kindness
Creativity
A sense of purpose
Financial independence
Leaving a legacy
Write them down. Reflect on them often. Let them sink in until they begin to guide even the smallest choices you make each day.
When your values are clear, your attention will naturally begin to follow them.
You Don’t Need the Whole Map
You don’t need to know what you want to do with the rest of your life.
In his book Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman shares how a friend once compared life to a frog hopping from lily pad to lily pad. The point? You only need to see the next one. Just make sure it’s roughly in the direction you want to go.
So find your next lily pad. Let it be a safe space to rest, play, explore, and gather strength. Stay until you’re ready to leap again.
And when you look back, recall the moments when you felt aligned with your deeper values. When life felt like it flowed with ease and meaning. Those memories will help free up energy to move forward—with curiosity, courage, and lightness of heart.
(Try this guided 8-minute "Inner Self-Critic and Self-Appreciation Meditation" to experience this shift in focus for yourself.)
My invitation to you
At the end of each day take a moment and reflect on what you have given your attention to throughout the day – how many times you have prioritised what seemed pressing over what truly matters, or dwelled on old hurts and on what you don’t want.
Be curious – staying curious stops you from being judgmental.
And notice the difference, when instead of dwelling on the negative, you softly and attentively shift your focus to something that is aligned with your chosen path.
What lily pad do you want to come to rest on and explore for a while?