“I Don't Have Energy for It”: The Power of Soulful Boundaries“
In her book The Well-Lived Life, Dr. Gladys McGarey—a 102-year-old author and holistic medical practitioner—shares her experiences and secrets of living a meaningful, fulfilling life.
One sentence that caught my attention is:
"I don't have energy for it."
Taken out of context, this could sound like a limitation voiced by someone who is overwhelmed or fatigued. But through Dr. McGarey’s lens, it becomes something entirely different: a clear, grounded expression of personal boundaries—a sign of someone deeply aligned with their core values, or as she puts it, their "soul's sacred mission."
A Radical Shift in Focus
Imagine being so attuned to your heart’s desires, so clear on where your energy belongs, that focusing on obstacles or negativity seems utterly non-sensical.
What would it take for you to harness that kind of clarity? What if you could allow the force of what truly matters to carry you safely and steadily through life?
Instead of dwelling on what’s wrong, what if you cultivated the habit of nurturing what feeds your soul?
The Garden Analogy
Think of a garden full of weeds—unplanned and unwanted things. You could focus your energy on pulling the weeds, one by one. Or, you could put your effort into nourishing the plants you do want to grow: enriching the soil, planting with intention, creating the right conditions for beauty to flourish.
This shift—from controlling the unwanted to nurturing what we value—can radically transform our experience of life.
Rethinking Boundaries
We’ve all heard about the importance of setting healthy boundaries: learning to say no, asking for respect, advocating for our needs. And these are important, essential skills. But they can sometimes feel like a barricade—stifling the free-flow of energy.
What if we shifted the focus?
Instead of always protecting ourselves from what drains us, what if we started feeding what energizes us? What if our cells were so imbued with the feeling-tone of our heart’s desire that we could easily brush off any unwanted behaviour by others that might be contrary to what we had hoped for? What if our boundaries weren’t just defenses, but the natural result of being so in love with our life path that anything misaligned simply falls away?
A Story from Dr. McGarey
Dr. McGarey tells the story of her sister, who lived with her critical mother-in-law. When asked how she coped with the constant criticism, her sister replied:
"I simply have no time for it."
Her energy was fully devoted to her newborn baby—her joy, her purpose, her soul's focus. Her mother-in-law's negativity? It didn’t register as important enough to warrant attention. As she also highly valued family life, she was at peace with her mother-in-laws presence. She chose to accept her for who she was and stayed committed to what truly mattered: her baby and her family life.
Borrowing the Phrase
The phrase “I have no time for it” has stuck with me. It’s simple, yet powerful. Much like choosing what stories we tell ourselves (a topic I’ve written about before), this phrase invites us to be discerning. Where do we place our attention? What’s truly worth our energy?
Of course, as always, context matters. If you tend to avoid conflict or suppress difficult emotions, using this phrase might reinforce avoidance. But if you find yourself too often absorbed in small grievances or unmet expectations, this might be the perfect reminder to reconnect with your deeper values and move forward with grace.
Many thanks for reading.
Kindly,
Uschi
Questions for You
What do you value more than anything? What is your heart's—or soul’s—deepest desire?
What would it take for your values to be the driving force in your decisions and interactions?